I have this discussion a lot. Usually it’s with people who have little or no understanding of how the brain works. I contend that in every moment each of us is doing the very best we can as a consequence of the way our neural networks are operating at any given point in time. 
Much of that operation is automatic and unconscious. But that does not mean we can’t learn, train and practice being and doing better in the very next moment in time. It’s called “response flexibility,” and we can each learn and work to expand it through awareness and dedicated practice.
My Son Was the Columbine Killer
A really powerful talk by Sue Klebold, the mother of Dylan, one of the very first school shooters at Columbine High School in Colorado, back in 1999. Not only did that tragedy affect the families of the kids who were wounded and killed, but it traumatically impacted lives of the shooters immediate and extended families, and continues to to this day. I applaud this mother’s courage in coming forward and sharing the truth of her own profoundly painful struggle.
It took me a long time to fully accept that I might have some damage to my brain. Nothing anyone would notice, like from a stroke or a tumor. More like the ways in which I saw other people’s brains easily operating that mine didn’t. For example, they could remain truly calm in the midst of my emotional reactivity. They could make creative cognitive leaps that I struggled with. They could effortlessly keep their desks well-organized, be on time for appointments, manage their diets – all things I struggle with. Well, the good news is: it’s not my fault. I’m simply prefrontally-challenged. The bad news is: I have a LOT more work to do on myself than those people do.
American Life Is Traumatizing Americans
Just to be clear, I’m not a fan of gross generalizations. Nevertheless, in this article media lab director and “Ranked Thinker,” Umair Haque makes a credible case that the way a great number of we Americans currently live our lives is truly traumatizing us. The only question really up for debate is how many of us are being traumatized and to what degree. One takeaway from Umair’s argument: you can assess your own degree of trauma pretty much by the disquieting feelings of self-protection you walk through each day feeling.
How Unprocessed Grief Can Inhibit Business Success
In this episode of the TV show, The Profit, we see how the death of two young children has caused a couple to pour their energy into their business, to some degree of success. Since my perspective is “healing’s always trying to happen,” I’m not surprised when the death of these children surfaces as a key obstacle for the business going forward.
requiring me to read them with a medical dictionary open on my desk. This little handbook makes it as simple as an academic subject can be, given that any leading-edge field of research is going to be loaded with specialized terms (like polyvagal). Such language is necessary to accurately convey the research findings to other researchers. In this 
social worker who has spent many years working with clients and applying what she’s learned about Polyvagal Theory in service to their healing. Had Deb written 
In my mind, it’s the neurobiological structural and developmental limitations and vulnerabilites that being human invites us to work with if we are going to be moving in the direction the wisdom teachers above are suggesting for us. In order to do that, however, we’re going to have to develop our own unique, personally relevant operational practices that will move us in the direction of an expanding self-regulation network capacity capable of producing greater energy and information processing and integration. Which is a fancy way to say that in order to become more loving we have to practice being more loving. Whatever we practice, we tend to get better at, whether it’s the guitar, money management or social engagement. Particularly, heart-felt social engagement.
“That is the greatest HAT!” a young woman says to me. As I turn around, she’s beaming. I smile back.
The book is called 
How might that robust complexity show up as a heartfelt sentiment? A recent example: Leonard, a senior friend of mine, recently told me a story about having some power tools stolen from a construction site he was on. Rather than feeling violated or exploited, his first thought when he noticed the tools were missing was, “I feel so bad for the person reduced to stealing from old people.” A truly heartfelt sentiment, right? I would posit that Leonard’s response is the result of a high degree of neural integration (Leonard’s been working on himself for decades!).
In the recent documentary film, 
